Who Moved My Cheese?
When My 7% Smaller Pre-Frontal Lobe Rears Its Ugly Head (and I Wonder: Does the Pre-Frontal Lobe's Ugly Head Also Have a Brain with a 7% Smaller Pre-Frontal Lobe?)
I wanted to share this quick story to help you understand — while my fellow ADHDers commiserate — with what everyday life is like when you endure these maddening short-term memory issues. So here goes:
Around 2:30 this afternoon, I decided I was ready for lunch. I opened the fridge — yes, the aforementioned body farm — digging around for something interesting to snack on. The white Vermont Cheddar cheese won. (Confession time: cheese always wins.) I opened the package, removed two slices, and took a bite so perfect, it looked like some special effects department took a fake bite out of something for a photo shoot. It tasted so good, I decided a grilled cheese sandwich with my 12-seeds wheat bread would scratch that itch.
When you live in Florida, this is a thing: you have to keep your bread in the fridge so it doesn’t mold over before your debit card payment has cleared at the grocery store. Our second fridge is in our sun room, maybe 10 steps away from my kitchen. I walked to the sun room fridge, grabbed the bread, and returned to the kitchen — now remember, this is only 10 steps apart — and that’s when it happened: I promptly lost my cheese.
No, really.
I. LOST. MY. CHEESE.
It was nowhere to be found. I looked everywhere. I even went searching in rooms I know I wasn’t in during that two-minute period of forgotten time. Even Agatha Christie’s ghost was flummoxed.
That cheese is gone, baby, gone.
Until another area of my house starts to smell as funky as my body farm fridge, I won’t find it. I sent my husband and son out on this urgent cheese recovery expedition. Nada. If only someone invented cheese detectors like we have metal detectors. I think the world would be a better place. Don’t you?
I do live near Gulf Breeze, the top UFO sightings capital of the United States. Maybe I had one of those alien abduction missing-time situations you read about. Maybe Marvin Martian held me at ray-gunpoint,*** stole my Vermont cheddar cheese, wiped my memory, and well, here we are.
As implausible as it sounds, I prefer that explanation to the more unsettling one: that my short-term memory is this compromised. I just ordered some saffron supplements, which are said to boost dopamine and norepinephrine. I’ll keep you posted on whether those, combined with my GABA, magnesium threonate, and lion’s mane mushroom supplements will have any impact on my ability to keep better track of my cheese snacks. Stay tuned.
But I have three words for that greedy alien, the next time I see him:
IT’S NACHO CHEESE!
P.S. ***I wasn’t exactly sure how to punctuate that. How’d I do?
That happens to me with coffee. I'll pour a cup, and lose it. Days later my wife finds a cup of coffee with mold growing on top!
In my case though, if it were cheese, My cat would be the culprit!
Another glitch in the matrix. The projection/simulation/ 3D dreamworld we inhabit changes and "forgets" to return things when it repopulates the simulation. It's happening more often as things fall apart for the archons.